How to annoy your date

1. Guard your plate with forks and knifes and act like you'll stab anyone who reaches for it, including the waiter.

2. Collect salt shakers from all the tables in the restaurant, and balance them in a tower formation on your table.

3. Wipe your nose on your date's sleeve. Twice.

4. Make faces at other patrons, and then sneer at their reactions.

5. Repeat every third word you say say.

6. Read a newspaper during the meal, ignoring your date.

7. Stare at your date's neck, and grind your teeth. Ask if he's a slayer.

8.Twitch spastically. If asked about it, pretend you don't know what he's talking about.

9. Every five minutes, circle your table with your arms outstretched while making airplane sounds.

10. Ask for crayons to color the place mat. This is especially fun in fancy places with linen tablecloths.

11.When ordering, inquire if the restaurant has any live food.

12. Without asking, eat off your date's plate. Eat more of his than your own.

13.Talk with your mouth full and spray crumbs.

14. Scof down everything on your plate in 30 seconds.

15. Ask the people at the next table if you can taste their food.

16. Order something nasty for your date. Act offended if he refuses to eat it.

17. Ask for a seat away from the windows where you have a good view of all exits and can keep your back to the wall. Act nervous.

18. Order a baked potato as a side dish. When the waiter brings your food, hide the potato, wait a few minutes and ask the waiter for the potato you never got. When the waiter returns, have the first one back up on the plate. Repeat later in the meal.

19. Throughout the meal, speak in pig latin.